Computer Literacy
A woman called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. The tech asked her if she was "running it under Windows." The woman responded, "No, my desk is next to the door. But that's a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and he is working fine."
Tech Support: "OK Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer : "I don't have a 'P'."
Tech Support : "On your keyboard, Bob."
Customer : "What do you mean?"
Tech Support : "'P' on your keyboard, Bob."
Customer : "I'm not going to do that!"
Overheard in a computer shop:
Customer : "I'd like a mouse mat, please."
Salesperson : "Certainly sir, we've got a large variety."
Customer : "But will they be compatible with my computer?"
A man attempting to set up his new printer called the printer's tech support number, complaining about the error message: "Can't find the printer." On the phone, the man said he even held the printer up in front of the screen, but the computer still couldn't find it.
And another user was all confused about why the cursor always moved in the opposite direction from the movement of the mouse. She also complained that the buttons were difficult to depress. She was very embarrassed when we asked her to rotate the mouse so the tail pointed away from her.
A friend was on duty in the main lab on a quiet afternoon. He noticed a young woman sitting in front of one of the workstations with her arms crossed across her chest, staring at the screen. After about 15 minutes, he noticed that she was still in the same position, only now she was impatiently tapping her foot. He asked if she needed help and she replied "It's about time! I pressed the F1 button over twenty minutes ago!"
I have a spelling checker,
It came with my PC;
It plainly marks four my revue,
Mistakes I cannot sea.
I've run this poem threw it,
I'm sure your please to no,
Its letter perfect in it's weigh,
My checker tolled me sew.
- Quoted by Pennye Harper
Favorite Food
Dogs: kibbles
Computers: bits
Method used to end undesirable behavior
Dogs: hit with rolled up newspaper
Computers: hit control-alt-delete
After destruction of personal property
D: dog not found
C: file not found
Favorite trick
D: roll over
C: play dead
Comic-page hero
D: Dogbert
C: Dilbert
Fun way to mess with their heads
D: peanut butter on roof of mouth
C: peanut butter in CD-ROM drive
Consequence of virus
D: replace valuable carpeting
C: replace valuable data
Widely ignored government mandate
D: leash law
C: Communications Decency Act
Waste disposal tool
D: pooper-scooper
C: uninstaller (necessary only on Win-tel machines!)
Sensitive internal procedures
D: must be undertaken by fully qualified professional
C: may be undertaken by that guy at work who fixed "one kind-of like this" once
Method of marking territory
D: lifting leg
C: "Designed for Windows 95"
Unique behavior
D: lick and drag
C: click-and-drag
Inexplicable physical feature
D: dewclaw
C: scroll lock key
Estimated lifespan
D: 12 years
C: 12 months
At end of useful life
D: euthanasia
C: tax deduction
Well, you dog lovers out there (I already know you're a computer lover, or you wouldn't be reading this!) will relate to these.
Remember When ....
A computer was something on TV from a science fiction
show of note
A window was something you hated to clean....
And ram was the cousin of a goat.....
Meg was the name of my girlfriend
and gig was a job for the nights
now they all mean different things
and that really mega bytes
An application was for employment
a program was a TV show
a cursor used profanity
a keyboard was a piano
Memory was something that you lost with age
a cd was a bank account
and if you had a 3 1/2" floppy
you hoped nobody found out
Compress was something you did to the garbage
not something you did to a file
and if you unzipped anything in public
you'd be in jail for a while
Log on was adding wood to the fire
hard drive was a long trip on the road
a mouse pad was where a mouse lived
and a backup happened to your commode
Cut you did with a pocket knife
Paste you did with glue
a web was a spider's home
and a virus was the flu
I guess I'll stick to my pad and paper
and the memory in my head
I hear nobody's been killed in a computer crash
but when it happens they wish they were dead
It's wise to remember how easily today's wonderful technology can be misused, sometimes unintentionally, with serious consequences.
Consider the case of the Illinois man who left the snow-filled streets of Chicago for a vacation in Florida. His wife was on a business trip and was planning to meet him there the next day. When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick e-mail. Unable to find the scrap of paper on which he had written her e-mail address, he did his best to type it in from memory.
Unfortunately, he missed one letter, and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher's wife, whose husband had passed away only the day before. When the grieving widow checked her e-mail, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint. At the sound of her cry, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:
Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.
PS: Dress light. It sure is hot down here.
1. Big companies don't do business via chain letter. Bill Gates is not giving you $1000, and Disney is not giving you a free vacation. There is no baby food company issuing class-action checks. You can relax; there is no need to pass it on "just in case it's true". Furthermore, just because someone said in the message, four generations back, that "we checked it out and it's legit", does not actually make it true.
2. There is no kidney theft ring in New Orleans. No
one is waking up in a bathtub full of ice, even if a friend of a friend swears
it happened to their cousin. If you are hellbent on believing the kidney-theft
ring stories, please see
http://urbanlegends.tqn.com/library/weekly/aa062997.htm And I quote:
"The National Kidney Foundation has repeatedly issued
requests for actual victims of organ thieves to come forward and tell their
stories. None have."
That's "none" as in "zero". Not even your friend's cousin.
3. Neiman Marcus doesn't really sell a $200 cookie recipe. And even if they do, we all have it. And even if you don^�t, you can get a copy at: http://www.bl.net/forwards/cookie.html Then, if you make the recipe, decide the cookies are that awesome, feel free to pass the recipe on.
4. We all know all 500 ways to drive your roommates crazy, irritate co-workers gross out bathroom stall neighbors and creep out people on an elevator. We also know exactly how many engineers, college students, Usenet posters and people from each and every world ethnicity it takes to change a lightbulb.
5. Even if the latest NASA rocket disaster(s) DID contain plutonium that went to particulate over the eastern seaboard, do you REALLY think this information would reach the public via an AOL chain-letter?
6. There is no "Good Times" virus. In fact, you should never, ever, ever forward any email containing any virus warning unless you first confirm it at an actual site of an actual company that actually deals with virii. Try: http://www.norton.com And even then, don't forward it. We don't care.
7. If your CC: list is regularly longer than the actual content of your message, you're probably going to Hell.
8. If you're using Outlook, IE, or Netscape to write email, turn off the "HTML encoding." Those of us on Unix shells can't read it, and don't care enough to save the attachment and then view it with a web browser, since you're probably forwarding us a copy of the Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe anyway.
9. If you still absolutely MUST forward that 10th-generation message from a friend, at least have the decency to trim the eight miles of headers showing everyone else who's received it over the last 6 months. It sure wouldn't hurt to get rid of all the ">" that begin each line. Besides, if it has gone around that many times - we've probably already seen it.
10. Craig Shergold in England is not dying of cancer or anything else at this time and would like everyone to stop sending him their business cards. He apparently is also no longer a "little boy" either.
1) Nice bible.
2) I would like to pray with you.
3) You know Jesus? Me too.
4) God told me to come talk to you.
5) I know a church where we could go and talk.
6) How about a hug, sister? ( try not to use this one)
7) Do you need help carrying your bible? It looks heavy.
8) Christians don't shake hands, Christians gotta hug.
9) Oh you are cold, Ecclesiastes 4:11
10) Did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?
11) What are your plans for tonight? Feel like a bible study?
12) I am here for you.
13) The word says "Give drink to those who are thirsty, and feed the hungry," how about dinner?
14) You don't have an accountability partner? Me neither.
15) Do you want to come over and watch the Ten Commandments tonight?
16) I think you've just sinned. You stole my heart.
17) Would you happen to know a Christian woman (man) that I could love with all my heart and wait on hand and foot?
18) Nice bracelet. What would Jesus date? I mean "do."
19) Do you believe in Divine appointment?
20) Have you ever tried praying at a drive-in movie before?
21) Excuse me, I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.
22) My friend told me to come and meet you, he said that you are a really nice person. I think you know him. Jesus, yeah, that's his name.
23) You know they say that you have never really dated, until you have dated a Christian.
JUST INJUSTICE:
For some inexplicable reason, the word JUST shows up a lot in prayer. "Just" is used for pausing, for filler, as an adverb, for rhythm, and, well, to underscore that this is just prayer and not talking in general. Since this is not normally the case in human dialog, it is hard to explain why. This is also known as the JUST'n MARTYR PRAYER. "Lord, we JUST pray that you would JUST like, JUST really JUST totally..."
THE GOSSIP:
"Lord, please forgive Pam [not present] for her sexual lust towards George [who is present]." THE
THEOLOGIAN:
Here the person feels led to lecture God on various--usually obvious--points of theology, as if God needed reminding. While the words of such prayers can be valid enough if said in a spirit of praise, THE THEOLOGIAN gives you the distinct impression that he/she is praying to ideas rather than God; or perhaps trying to impress the rest of us. "Lord, you are God. You are the Triune, Immutable, Omniscient, Revelatory, the First Principle. You even know what I am going to pray next!... [etc. etc. etc.]"
THE OPPORTUNIST: For someone who would never get a word in edgewise in a normal conversation--because what they want to say is inherently boring or unedifying--prayer can be an opportunity to "seize the floor" and speechify at great length without fear of rebuttal or interruption unless something really awful is said; and perhaps not even then, as social convention says it is very rude to interrupt while someone is praying. "Lord, I just want to pray for my little bunny. I know nobody here thinks it important, but I just love my bunny because it... [on and on and on]."
PRAY WITHOUT CEASING:
To "pray without ceasing" is generally understood as an admonition to not neglect our prayers, or for us to maintain an attitude of prayer in all that we do. Not so with these people, they take it literally. They seem to think that prayer is to be preferred over all other activities in Christian life; and if you do not agree, well that is too bad since they are praying just now. Also known as THE ETERNAL PRAYER, or THE PRAYER THAT NEVER ENDS. Those who do this should never be asked to pray before a meal. "Lord, we pray for the believers in China. And, Lord, we want to mention each one by name..."
THE LECTURER:
Similar to THE OPPORTUNIST, but here the motive is to harangue someone else--or the group--by sermonizing in general. Also known as THE SERMON PRAYER. "O God, forgive those among us who do not understand the need to... [fill in the blanks]." "Lord, forgive the congregation for their continued failure to tithe. For 'The tithe is the Lord's', and 'Test me in this' saith the Lord... [and on and on]"
THE KING JAMES ONLY PRAYER:
As the quotation goes, "If King James English was good enough for Saint Paul, it is good enough for me." For these people, prayer just seems more "holy" if spoken in a 300-year-old dialect, as if God were somehow nostalgic for such ornamentation. "We beseech Thee, in Thine tabernacles, O Lord. Ye forgiveth the bowels of iniquity as an ensample..."
THE HERESY PRAYER:
A public prayer, however sincere, that is just plain wrong. "Father, we know that you would never correct your children. No, you are too good for that. For you promised us in the Holy Bible that you would never punish anyone, not even the littlest flea, and we take your word on this matter as the very gospel! [etc. etc.]"
REVERSE HUMILITY:
Rather than show personal penitence, this perpetrator seeks to slam or insult the group he/she is in via prayer. Also known as THE ACCUSER OF THE BRETHREN. "God, you know this dog-brained group of ours has about zero spiritual wisdom..." "Lord, I pray you would forgive the leaders of our fellowship for their ignorance and laziness..."
Other gaff submissions: THE RAMBLER:, CALLING DOWN FIRE:, REPEAT OFFENDER: [instead of "JUST" substitute "FATHER", "REALLY", "O GOD", "LORD", etc.], SIN ADVERTISEMENT: [in mixed groups], FUNNY FOOD BLESSINGS [need examples, etc.]
1. Answer the door naked and carrying weaponry. (immediate results)
2. Pretend to be the slowest talking person in the world and see how long their spirit of charity lasts.
3. Answer every one of their questions with "What do you mean by that?" This might take a while, but you and your loved ones can have fun placing bets on how long it takes for them to get flustered and leave.
4. Ask them to reconcile Revelation 1 and 22 for the "Alpha & Omega's" identity (Jesus or God), repeat constantly. You may have to resort to another method to actually get rid of them, but this will definitely make them sweat.
5. Excuse yourself from your sitting room (or wherever) ...and don't come back.
6. Make a series of increasingly reprehensible fake phone calls. (booky, order for pornography, drug deal, obscene call, and if they are STILL there, a tearfull confession to the police for the murder of the last Witnesses who visited you.)
7. Pick an oft-repeated word in their lexicon (God, Jesus, heaven, it, the etc.) and giggle whenever they utter it. If they ask you what's going on, say "nothing, why?" in very even tones, and giggle again.
8. Same as #7, except say "beep" instead of giggling.
9. (males only) Feign an intense interest in their speil. Part way through, begin putting on make-up, hosery, a dress, the whole works. (make encouraging noises [uh huh, I see...] throughout and if they ask you what you're doing, pull a #7) If they're still there when you are done, Ask them if they would please kindly leave as you have a hot date in ten minutes.
10. Look smug and tell them that your God can beat up their God.
Dear GOD,
Instead of letting people die and having to make new ones, why don't you just
keep the ones You have?
Dear GOD,
Maybe Cain and Abel would not kill each other so much if they had their own
rooms. It works with my brother.
-Larry
Dear GOD,
If You watch me in church on Sunday, I'll show You my new shoes.
-Mickey
Dear GOD,
I bet it is very hard for You to love all of everybody in the whole world. There
are only 4 people in our family and I can never do it.
-Nan
Dear GOD,
In school they told us what You do. Who does it when You are on vacation?
-Jane
Dear GOD,
I read the Bible. What does "begat" mean? Nobody will tell me.
-Love, Alison
Dear GOD,
Are You really invisible or is it just a trick?
-Lucy
Dear GOD,
Is it true my father won't get in Heaven if he uses his bowling words in the
house?
-Anita
Dear GOD,
Did You mean for the giraffe to look like that or was it an accident?
-Norma Dear GOD,
Who draws the lines around the countries?
-Nan
Dear GOD,
I went to this wedding and they kissed right in church. Is that okay?
-Neil
Dear GOD,
Did You really mean "do unto others as they do unto you"? Because if you did,
then I'm going to fix my brother.
-Darla
Dear GOD, Thank you for the baby brother, but what
I prayed for was a puppy.
-Joyce
Dear GOD,
Please send me a pony. I never asked for anything before You can look it up.
-Bruce
Dear GOD,
If we come back as something - Please don't let me be Jennifer Horton because
I hate her.
-Denise
Dear GOD,
I want to be just like my Daddy when I get big but not with so much hair all
over.
-Sam
Dear GOD,
You don't have to worry about me. I always look both ways.
-Dean
Dear GOD,
I think the stapler is one of your greatest inventions.
-Ruth
Dear GOD,
I think about You sometimes even when I'm not praying.
-Elliott
Dear GOD,
Of all the people who work for You I like Noah and David the best.
-Rob
Dear GOD,
My brother told me about being born but it doesn't sound right. They're just
kidding, aren't they?
-Marsha
Dear GOD,
I would like to live 900 years like the guy in the Bible.
-Love, Chris
Dear GOD,
We read Thomas Edison made light. But in Sunday school they said You did it.
So I bet he stole your idea.
-Sincerely, Donna
Dear GOD,
I didn't think orange went with purple until I saw the sunset You made on Tuesday.
That was cool.
A man was strolling the forest one day and came upon a huge grizzly bear. The man immediately began praying, "Lord, please let this be a Christian bear."
The bear dropped to his knees and began to pray, the man was elated until he heard the bear pray, "Dear Lord, thank you for the food I am about to receive."
The Lord said to Noah, "In six months, I'm going to make it rain until the earth is covered with water and all the evil is destroyed. I want you to build an ark and save two of each animal species. Here are the blueprints for the ark."
Six months passed. The skies began to cloud and rain began to fall. Noah sat in his front yard, weeping.
"Why haven't you built the ark?" asked the Lord.
"Oh, forgive me," said Noah. "I did my best, but so many things happened. "The blueprints you gave me didn't meet the city's code and I had to change them. Then the city said I was violating the zoning ordinance by building an ark in my front yard, so I had to get a variance. The provincial Forest Service required tree-cutting permits, and I was sued by an animal rights group when I tried to gather up the animals. Environment Canada required an environmental impact statement concerning the flood. The District Municipality wanted a map of the proposed flood-plain. Revenue Canada seized all my assets, claiming I was trying to avoid paying taxes by leaving the country, and The Canadian Human Rights Commission said I wasn't hiring enough visible minorities. I'm sorry, Lord, but I can't finish the ark for at least five years."
Suddenly the rain stopped, the skies cleared and the sun began to shine.
Noah looked up and said, "Lord, does this mean you're not going to devastate the earth?"
"Right," said the Lord. "The government already has."
2. The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
3. Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
4. 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
5. Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
6. The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoy sinning to join the choir.
7. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
8. The Lutheran Men's group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
9. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."
"One lawyer can steal more than a hundred men with guns." - The Godfather
One Liners, in triplicate, stapled... $568, please
Q: Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A: Professional courtesy.
Q: What do you get when you cross the Godfather with
a lawyer?
A: An offer you can't understand.
Q. Why is it that many lawyers have broken noses?
A. From chasing parked ambulances.
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire?
A. A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Q. Why are lawyers buried 12 feet underground?
A. Deep down, they're good.
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A. The lawyer charges more.
The Trustworthy Lawyer
"A countryman between two lawyers is like a fish between two cats." - Benjamin Franklin
Ya Can't Take it With You!
A dying man gathered his Lawyer, Doctor and Clergyman at his bed side and handed each of them an envelope containing $25,000 in cash. He made them each promise that after his death and during his repose, they would place the three envelopes in his coffin. He told them that he wanted to have enough money to enjoy the next life.
A week later the man died. At the Wake, the Lawyer and Doctor and Clergyman, each concealed an envelope in the coffin and bid their old client and friend farewell. By chance, these three met several months later. Soon the Clergyman, feeling guilty, blurted out a confession saying that there was only $10,000 in the envelope he placed in the coffin. He felt, rather than waste all the money, he would send it to a Mission in South America. He asked for their forgiveness. The Doctor, moved by the gentle Clergymans sincerity, confessed that he too had kept some of the money for a worthy medical charity. The envelope, he admitted, had only $8000 in it. He said, he too could not bring himself to waste the money so frivolously when it could be used to benefit others.
By this time the Lawyer was seething with self-righteous outrage. He expressed his deep disappointment in the felonious behavior of two of his oldest and most trusted friends. "I am the only one who kept his promise to our dying friend. I want you both to know that the envelope I placed in the coffin contained the full amount. Indeed, my envelope contained my personal check for the entire $25,000."
A local United Way office realized that it had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute. "Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"
The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did our research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"
Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um...no." "-- or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"
The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology but was interrupted, "--or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"
The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea ..."
On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again: "-- so if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?!?"
Three MBAs and three lawyers are traveling by train to a conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch as the three MBAs buy only a single ticket.
"How are three people going to travel on only one ticket?" asks a lawyer.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an MBA.
They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but all three MBAs cram into a restroom and close the door behind them. Shortly after the train has departed, the conductor comes around collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket, please."
The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.
The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the conference, the lawyers decide to copy the MBAs on the return trip and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the MBAs don't buy a ticket at all.
"How are you going to travel without a ticket?" says one perplexed lawyer.
"Watch and you'll see," answers an MBA.
When they board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three MBAs cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly afterward, one of the MBAs leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."
My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him.
Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. Dear School: Please ekscuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating.
Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.
John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.
Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.
Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.
Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.
Please excuse Tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea and his boots leak.
Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.
Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.
Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it Monday, we thought it was Sunday.
Sally won't be in school a week from Friday. We have to attend her funeral. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines.
Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.
Please excuse Mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.
Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.
Maryann was absent December 11-16, because she had a fever, sore throat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever and sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.
One sunny day a rabbit came out of her hole in the ground to enjoy the fine weather. The day was so nice that she became careless and a fox snuck up behind her and caught her.
"I am going to eat you for lunch!", said the fox.
"Wait!", replied the rabbit, "You should at least wait a few days."
"Oh yeah? Why should I wait?"
"Well, I am just finishing my thesis on 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"
"Are you crazy? I should eat you right now! Everybody knows that a fox will always win over a rabbit."
"Not really, not according to my research. If you like, you can come into my hole and read it for yourself. If you are not convinced, you can go ahead and have me for lunch."
"You really are crazy!" But since the fox was curious and had nothing to lose, it went with the rabbit. The fox never came out.
A few days later the rabbit was again taking a break from writing and sure enough, a wolf came out of the bushes and was ready to set upon her.
"Wait!" yelled the rabbit, "you can't eat me right now."
"And why might that be, my furry appetizer?"
"I am almost finished writing my thesis on 'The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves.'"
The wolf laughed so hard that it almost lost its grip on the rabbit.
"Maybe I shouldn't eat you. You really are sick...in the head. You might have something contagious."
"Come and read it for yourself. You can eat me afterward if you disagree with my conclusions." So the wolf went down into the rabbit's hole..and never came out.
The rabbit finished her thesis and was out celebrating in the local lettuce patch. Another rabbit came along and asked, "What's up? You seem very happy."
"Yup, I just finished my thesis."
"Congratulations. What's it about?"
"The Superiority of Rabbits over Foxes and Wolves."
"Are you sure? That doesn't sound right."
"Oh yes. Come and read it for yourself."
So together they went down into the rabbit's hole. As they entered, the friend saw the typical graduate student abode, albeit a rather messy one after writing a thesis. The computer with the controversial work was in one corner. To the right there was a pile of fox bones, to the left a pile of wolf bones. And in the middle was a large, well-fed lion.
The moral of the story: The title of your thesis doesn't matter. The subject doesn't matter. The research doesn't matter. All that matters is who your advisor is.
Scene:It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a lion is sitting outside his cave, lying lazily in the sun. Along comes a fox, out on a walk.
Fox : "Do you know the time, because my watch is broken"
Lion : "Oh, I can easily fix the watch for you"
